A (Fishin') Hole in One

So my mother lives in a very nice, upper-middle class neighborhood in Goose Creek complete with golf course, country club, swimming pool, playgrounds, beautifully manicured parks, tennis courts, etc. It's a typical "plantation" community down here (which they all are, by the way), and very quaintly landscaped. This includes the many duck/goose ponds that pepper the golf course and are regularly visited by a variety of cool water fowl including ibis, egrets, and heron. Being an animal person, I know that egrets and heron are fishing birds which leads me to believe there are fish residing in the ponds. Where they came from or how they got there I have no idea. However, we do live in the, "lowcountry," and in a wetland, who knows which way the water's flowing. For all I know, the fish could be residing in drainage ditches that seem to connect up to the ponds on one end and local rivers on the other. In any case, the existence of fish is readily apparent from the birds I often see perched in beautiful statuesque style, wings spread open, beak poised for spearing.

But if there were any doubt in my mind, the presence of fish would be made all the more clear by.....the GOLFERS WHO STOP TO FISH! Yes folks. We are truly in South Cackalackie when a round on the back 9 includes a stop at the "fishin' hole". There are actual, "fishin' holes," straight out of a Mark Twain novel down here...and on an upscale golf course no less. AND PEOPLE FISH IN THEM! Imagine, you're driving by the fairway, catching a glimpse of what appears to be a golfer pulling out a 9 iron hoping to get his next shot on the green, when you realize that what he's actually pulled out is a fishing rod. He's got a fishing rod in his golf bag! And because this is an upscale neighborhood, the fisherman is a lawyer, and his fishing rod is made of fiber glass. But I'll be damned if when Doug and I were looking for real estate in some of the less expensive first-time-home-buyer communities we did not see people fishing at the local "fishin' hole" holding poles whittled out of sticks.

Ok. I exaggerate a little here. But come on. They are decorative, landscaped, planned community ponds. Some of them have fountains. Why on earth would people fish in them, let alone EAT what you catch? Apparently, it's a very popular pastime down here, as many a real estate agent tried to use it as a selling point with Doug and I in our search for a home. I finally had to point out to one that I not only thought it was stupid and somewhat "redneck" to fish in the pond marking the entrance to your development, but that if he brought it up again, he'd be fired (of course I put it more subtly and tactfully than that). This is the same person who offered to show us a "double-wide" because it was just such a steal. I quickly pointed out that Doug and I were not interested in any dwelling which came apart with ease or was mobile in anyway. But hey, this is South Cackalackie, and apparently the "yocals" think high-end trailer living (translation, a new double-wide) is akin to at least a luxury condominium elsewhere.

Anyway, I was pondering the hillarity of the local "fishin' hole" and laughing at the thought of seeing something like this back home in New York. And then I realized, I had. People fish out of the East River in Manhattan ALL the time. Granted, it's a naturally existing body of water, but if you live in a high rise just off FDR Drive, then I suppose it's the next best thing to the local "fishin' hole." I guess New Yorkers and Cackalackians are more alike than I realized.

Anyway, the moral of the story: if you're ever invited over to a South Cackalackian's house for dinner and they're serving fish, be sure to check and see if there are any ponds in the landscape architecture. You might be eating one of the neighbors.

Like the Energizer Bunny,

It just goes on, and on, and on, and on....

So Nick is now on the baby version of an inhaler, a stronger antibiotic, prescription strength cough medicine, and ibuprofen as needed. All this for a kid whose mother HATES the idea of using medication. I'm all about the natural, homeopathic remedies, or just plain letting the body do it's job. But when you take your son to the doctor and the letters RSV get kicked around, particularly if you know how serious this can get, you concede to the medications. My poor baby. My little peanut. I hate overwhelming his system with all this gunk, but I have to admit, that since he's been on them, particularly the inhaler, there is an obvious improvement in his condition. So much for my tree-hugging, herb-taking, immune-boosting homeopathy. The inhaler did the job in two doses. My little boy can breathe comfortably again for the first time in 3 days. Score report: Pfizer = 1, Galluccio homeopathy = 0.

Incidentally, although it doesn't feel that way to me, Emma took a turn for the worse today. She still is no where near the severity that Nicky was this morning or a couple of nights ago, but she's pretty miserable, despite her few attempts to rally during the day. This virus is a sneaky one. It's lulled me into a false sense of security twice now, thinking that I was over the worst of it, only to find, "worst," comin' 'round the bend.

So the beat goes on. But I am DETERMINED to write something more positive in this blog about my kids and their health in the next few days. I've already got some great photos lined up, and thoughts on bedtime rituals shared between Emma and myself. But seeing as how it's my bedtime, and I haven't slept well lately (I wonder why), it'll all have to wait for another quiet evening when the drugs have been administered and everyone is able to sleep soundly through the night....or at least until I can finish a blog entry.

In the words of Emma's bedtime song, "Time a' go nite-nites. Time a' go nite-nites. It's time for (Mommy) to go to bed! See you tomorrow."

"Barking" Baby

Quick update. After the ER, Nicky, Doug, Emma, and I found ourselves in an urgent care center less than 12 hours later. Nicky had grown increasingly worse and was in obvious respiratory distress. He had developed a croupy, barking cough with a loud stridor on inhalation. For anyone who's not familiar with that sound, imagine trying to breath in to cough and having someone grab you around the throat and squeeze. The resulting gasping sound is what a stridor sounds like. And in an 11 month old infant, a gasping stridor followed by a spasmodic, croupy cough is not a sound you want to hear. Besides, Emma was coming down with it at this point as well. So, Doug and I figured we might as well have them both checked out again before one of us would have to head back to the ER in the middle of the night. Sure enough, the doctor gave both of them a prescription strength cold medicine (which worked like a charm), and Nicky got a steroid to open up his airway. His pulse ox. was ok, but beginning to drop, so it was clear that he needed something to help him breathe.

We came home, and I managed to get Nicky to fall asleep for a couple of hours on my lap in the rocking chair, after which he woke up having yet another coughing fit. He was miserable and gasping off and on for another 45 minutes or so when he finally fell back asleep from exhaustion. This time, we were camped out downstairs in our oversized chair, snuggled under a blanket. He broke out in a cold sweat (which I usually do when I'm about to "break" a cold or flu), so I figured he might be turning the corner on this one. And despite the sweat-soaked jammies, he slept soundly on my chest for about 4 hours when I finally mustered up the courage to put him in his crib and try to get some sleep myself. With the exception of an occasional coughing fit and some tossing and turning, he slept like a rock until 5:30 this morning. And boy, he needed it. He's still VERY congested, but he no longer looks as though he's in distress, so I'm relieved.

In the meantime, Emma appears to have a mild case of whatever he has, and I'm hoping it stays that way! For this cold and flu season, the score is viruses 3, Galluccios NOTHIN'!

Incidentally, his fall from the diaper changer was nothing but a bad bump on the head. The ER doc and pediatrician said he was fine. Probably more of a bruise to my ego than to his head.

For Worse and In Sickness....

Seems that in the, "better or worse, in sickness or in health," departments, Doug and I have been handed a super-sized, not-so-value meal of, "worse," and, "sickness." Just read the previous postings if you don't believe me. My family has now been sick with one illness or another since December 30th. Doug, amazingly, has not gotten sick yet.

But aside from a remarkable immunity to the common cold, stomach viruses, and other bacterial infections, I feel compelled to mention what a great help he has been to me, and that I realize I haven't given him enough credit lately. As I mentioned earlier, he is, at the moment, on his way to the ER with our 11 month old son. And while the responsibility of getting up with the kids in the middle of the night, catching vomit, going to the pediatrican, etc. largely falls on me as the, "stay-at-home-mom," he always knows just when to step in to ease the load. It's a bit like tag-team parenting, as I suppose parenting should be; when one of us needs to retreat to our respective corner, the other tags in. I'm just glad he's on my team.

"Peanut's" First...

...trip to the ER. My poor little "peanut" Nicky is on his way to the ER with Daddy as I type. Since I last posted, both kids went to the pediatrician for their follow up appointments and got the "all clear" for their respective ear infections and stomach viruses. Now, Nicky and I have ANOTHER cold. And this one is bad. I've already been to urgent care and been put on antibiotics last Thursday. Nicky is headed there now because he is inconsolable and grabbing at his ear again. He's been irritable all day, unable to sleep more than an hour or two at a time. So tonight, I gave him a decongestant/expectorant combination to alleviate his symptoms enough so he could sleep. It worked for about 2 hours, then he was up again at 8pm. He chattered away to himself for quite awhile and coughed a bit, so I didn't make much of it. But by 10:15pm, he was obviously uncomfortable. So I gave him some motrin, but to no avail because at 3:25am, he's headed to the ER one very uncomfortable baby.

To make matters worse, on Wednesday night, while I was changing his diaper, he rolled off the diaper changer when I turned my back to reach for something. And I feel HORRIBLY guilty about it. And what gets me most is that I knew better than to ever turn my back on my especially squirmy son even for a second since the same thing happened to Doug awhile back. Yet I did it anyway. Luckily, he was never seriously injured, and I suspect that's the case this time as well (as the pediatrician reassured me). Nevertheless, tonight, while he's moaning with discomfort from what is most likely a raging ear infection, my mind is racing with thoughts about him having a head injury. There are no symptoms to suggest that he has a head injury and every symptom to suggest that his ear infection is back, but I'm a mom, and I'm worried. And he's my little "peanut". So, better to be safe than sorry. Oh. And I'm changing his diaper on the floor from now on.

Notes on REAL Motherhood

I recently found out that some dear friends of mine are expecting. And after coming off of the childhood plague that hit my house for the start of 2007, I was finding it difficult to rally the enthusiasm to get really excited. Now wait, before you all call me a bad mother, or an ingrate, or a general grinch, read on.

I was finding it difficult to rally enthusiasm in the midst of the worst childhood illnesses that have hit my children since their respective arrivals because I was EXHAUSTED and kind of down on "mommy-hood." My kids have never been as sick as they were for the past 4 weeks, yes, that's 4 STRAIGHT WEEKS! And caring for them throughout all of this has been exhausting in every way. So naturally, after a month of caring for vomiting, coughing, sneezing, infected, diarrhea spewing babies, I was feeling a little down on the joys of motherhood....or at least wondering where they'd gone.

The kids are starting to get better finally (we have a check-up tomorrow - keep your fingers crossed), and I'm beginning to enjoy my time with them again. We were able to play together for the last couple of days without me having to run for a bowl or a tissue or a rag to wipe of the multiple carpet stains that document the last 4 weeks' trials. And I'm enjoying my kids again. They are amazing!...and adorable...and fun...and lovable...and I love squeezing them tight. And I am SO LUCKY to have two beautiful, healthy, thriving children without any major illnesses. But in the midst of "the plague," as I now like to call it, I would occasionally vent to someone about how awful taking care of two sick babies was, and I found myself getting the "look." Those of you that are honest mothers know the one I'm talking about. It's the look that says, "How can you complain? You should love your children and care for them without complaint." And to these Martha-Stewart-of-motherhood-moms I say, "PHOOEY!"

Motherhood is wonderful. And I love my kids dearly, more than I love myself most of the time. But I, and anyone else out there, would be a fool to think that I'm always going to love doing it. It's hard. It's dirty. It's taxing. And some days, you just don't want to get up and do it again. But you do. You love your kids more than life itself, so you do what you have to do, even when you don't want to. Yet if you look through the "mommy" books, and read the discussion groups and visit the mommy and me classes, and all other mommy-clique-venues, it seems that no one is willing to admit to the fact that sometimes being a mom just plain stinks! Nope, rather, we're all expected to glow about motherhood as if it's nothing but roses and sunshine. And when you don't, when you go so far as to mention the slightest bit of unhappiness or boredom, then you are judged as a bad or ungrateful mother. And in my opinion, that's unhealthy, totally and utterly unhealthy, and COMPLETELY unrealistic.

Why isn't anyone HONEST about motherhood, and pregnancy for that matter. Yeah, pregnancy, and especially birth, was miraculous. I'll grant that. I'll never forget the experience of giving birth to my children. It still blows my mind! But pregnancy was also awful at some points. There were excruciating hemorrhoids and heartburn. There were disabling back pain and migraine headaches. There was constant nausea followed by insatiable hunger with no room in my stomach to hold all that I wanted to eat. And the after effects of pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding have left me feeling less than positive about my physical self-image. But if you read books on pregnancy, all they talk about is the good stuff; how "glowing" you'll be, how thick your hair gets, how voluptuous you become, etc.etc. Why is there no HONEST account of the other side as well.

And the same holds true for motherhood. As I said, it is wonderful, most of the time. And all the books talk about that until they've run out of ink. But there doesn't seem to be any honest account of the more difficult aspects of motherhood, and there certainly doesn't seem to be a place to vent about it. And frankly, I think both one-sided accounts of pregnancy and motherhood are insulting to women. It's as if the world is saying, "Here is your opportunity to fulfill your womanly duty. It's wonderful. You should love it. And it's your responsibility as a self-less mother to put aside all the not so pleasant parts." Furthermore, in sugar-coating the truth about motherhood, I think all the books and discussion groups leave new moms grossly underprepared to handle the hard stuff. If I had had an honest account of some of the trials of pregnancy and motherhood BEFORE I went through them, I know I would've been much less neurotic and stressed out. Presenting a balanced account of both life experiences EMPOWERS people. It prepares them to deal with the trials and tribulations of life so they can focus more energy on the positive aspects.

Frankly, the one book I found most empowering and enlightening during pregnancy was called, "Pregnancy Sucks!" It was honest. It spent equal time on the wonder of pregnancy and miracle of birth as well as the less than comfortable aspects. And in those moments when I was having a rough time, I referred to this book more than any other for advice and guidance. It was comforting to know the truth, to know what I was really dealing with. And the truth helped me understand when there was really cause for concern and when I was just being a little "nutso!" There should be such a book for motherhood as well....perhaps I'll write one one day.

Beyond books, I think it's unhealthy to discourage the truth about motherhood being discussed in any way as well. A happy mother is a balanced mother. And how can anyone who has gone through a rough time in anything feel balanced and happy if they're repressing feelings? There should be room in our culture for open, healthy discussion about the good AND bad parts of being a parent. Again, I think the discussion would be empowering and foster healthier, more capable parents.

So here I am to say to Tom and Sara....congratulations! I love you guys dearly. I think you're going to be AMAZING parents. And I am SO excited for you! I really, really am! Pregnancy is AMAZING! It's like nothing you'll ever experience again. So enjoy it as much as possible because it goes by so quickly (although around 8 months you'll think it's not quick enough). But know that it is also rough sometimes. And when you hit those patches, please feel free to call me and vent. I will listen and be supportive WITHOUT judgment.

The same holds true for parenting. It's AMAZING watching your child thrive and grow. It's also the HARDEST and most tiring thing you'll ever do. So on days when you feel like wriging your kid's neck because they've written on the wall again, or slapped you in protest of a nap one too many times, take a deep breath, put them in a safe place, and take what I like to call a, "mommy-time-out." Then call me and bitch and complain all you want. And rest assured that I will listen supportively without judgment because I know that even though in the moment you may want to kill him/her (figuratively of course), you love your child so much you'd give up everything you have for him/her, and you are AMAZING parents. Every mom and dad has frustrating, bad days, and long, sleepless nights. In the end, your job is to focus on the great days...the days when they talk for the first time, take their first steps, go down the slide by themselves, go to school for the first time, etc. Remember the hugs, the kisses, the bedtime stories, the trips to Chuck E. Cheese, the birthday parties, and the wonder in their eyes the first time they play in snow or feel rain or see a bee drink from a flower. And when the hard days start to outnumber the great ones, call a friend or your parents, or someone who will understand and tell you whatever it is you need to hear to get through it.

You guys will be amazing parents, and you are in for the ride of your lives. Strap yourself in and hold on because you never know what lies around the bend. But most importantly, be honest. Be honest with yourselves and with each other. Don't be afraid to speak up when it gets hard. Sometimes speaking up and asking for support or help is the only thing that makes it easier. And I'm always, always here to help in any way that I can.
I miss you and love you. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! And I can't wait to see the new baby!!!

P.S. Here's a picture of one of the great moments for a little inspiration.

The Passing of the Plague

Ok. After two more nights of vomiting and continued diarrhea on Nicky and Emmma's part, I think we may FINALLY be out of the woods. Or at least, we've found the path out of the woods and are chopping away at it with machetes.

Emma has regained some semblance of an appetite (translation: dry waffles, dry toast, and dry cereal), and Nicky...well, he's got a bit more substance to his product these days. Don't get me wrong, both of them still have diarrhea, and Emma is still queasy, but we're going on almost 24 hours with no regurg., so I'm finally a bit hopeful, not to mention exhausted. Of course even though I've been up with Emma every night, several times a night, often until 3 in the morning or longer, Nicky still needs to be taken care of and continues to wake up bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and full of diarrhea at 6:30 or 7am. So, (and Sara, this one's for you) anyone out there who's a mother knows, there's no sick days for mommies. There's no saying ot your 10 month old, "You know, I didn't get much sleep last night so why don't you go make yourself some breakfast and I'm just gonna' catch up on some z's." It's a 24 hour a day, 7 day a week job. No rest, no breaks, no sick days. And this week has reaffirmed for me that this is the absolute hardest job I've ever had. Some days it's physically demanding, others it's emotionally or psychologically demanding. Given the age of my kids, it has yet to be very intellectually challenging, but I know that's coming soon. In any case, I've learned that motherhood requires an endurance, a perseverance, and a level of patience that NOTHING else on earth rivals. And that is the truth.

So...here are some recent photos that I managed to snap in the last few days. And I know it sounds a little sick that I took pic's of them while my kids were sick, but I wanted to document this all for their sake and for mine. I'm a firm believer in taking pictures of all the parts of their lives. I want them to know their stories, good and bad. I want them to know their history, and to know that throughout it all, they were loved deeply, even if it meant being coated in vomit.


One of Emma's first attempts at eating after 28 hours of absolutely NO food. The poor kid looks emaciated, and I know from taking her to the doctor that she's lost at least a pound and a half. That's almost 10% of my poor 28 pound toddler's body weight. Also note that Nicky is in his diaper. This is just following one of the several diaper changes that involved cleaning up the mess that exploded out of his diaper and up his back and down his pants. Sick children are so much fun.


During one of the diarrhea episodes. I think the picture speaks for itself.


Since everyone was feeling better this morning, rather than camp out on our vomit/diarrhea-proof blanket on the couch, the kids and I played together this morning. Nicky took a liking to our bunny ears. And now I CANNOT wait for Easter! Those are gonna' be some good pic's!


Playing with his new ride-on/walker from Aunt Dixie, Uncle Greg, and the cousins. Again, you'll notice he has no pants on. I finally got sick of changing his pants after his diaper would leak and decided it was just easier to let him go pantless.


Believe it or not, this was one of Emma's better days. Note the silver mixing bowl. Ninety percent of the time, the child REFUSED to aim for the bowl, hence the quilt and towels. I swear, I'm a pro at this now. Anyone out there want to get stomach sick, I dare ya'. Bring it on. I'll have you cleaned up, washed up, and smelling like roses before you even know you got sick.


Emma serving me tea this morning after a good night's sleep. She is SO much better today, thank goodness.


And this is what happens when Doug plays with the kids. "Pregnant" Nicky. And in case you're wondering, that's a plastic bowling ball from their bowling set. What scares me is how proud and happy he looks. Oh well, that's my boy!