Remember that game? The one you used to play with your friends at recess. It went something like this, "What's grosser than gross?" And you'd oblige saying, "What?" And your friend would reply with something revolting like, "Eating a bowl of corn flakes that you found leftover in a plastic baggy and finding out your brother's scab collection is missing." Then you would counter with something equally, if not more vile.
So here we go.
What's grosser than gross?
When you're playing with your infant son and he vomits directly into your mouth.
I'm not kidding.
Post Script (December 19, 8:01pm) Here's my attempt to head-off you non-believers who have been emailing me...yes, it really did happen, and yes, I immediately followed it up with my own command performance into the kitchen sink.