Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Playing Catch Up

It's been pointed out to me that I've been a bit absent in the blogosphere lately. I fess up. I've been remiss in posting, but my lack of writing is not for lack of ideas. There have been a plethora of things swimming around in that head of mine that have been begging for some air time. So, in the interest of "clearing the air", or in this case, my head, I'm going to play a bit of catch up. It seems to be a dominant theme in my life these days.

The first bit of "catch-up" was played out at my recent job interview. Yes, this self-proclaimed stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) broke down and submitted a few resumes. Admittedly, after almost 3 years out of the work force, I was more than a bit concerned about their ability to elicit a response. And I was growing increasingly worried about the amount of "catching up" I'd have to do to re-enter the work force relative to the amount of time I stayed home. (Anyone who's been a SAHM with ANY kind of ambition in life knows what I'm talking about. At a certain point, you begin to feel like the rest of the world is passing you by in every way. And frankly, our culture does not affirm or validate the work that SAHM's do as valid work. So, I admit that I fell prey to the pressure to be a "contributing" member of society (as they say), and decided to submit some resumes.)

Anyway, imagine my surprise when I got a bite. I'm not sure if I was more excited that the world still found me employable, or by the prospect of an excuse to take 2 indulgent hours away from the kids to talk "shop" with adults. And in retrospect, I talked WAY too much in my interview, but then I talk a lot anyway. Ask anyone who knows me well and they'll agree. Nevertheless, I found that the captive audience did something to my fledgling ability for verbal restraint....it tossed it right out the window. So, after 2 hours of verbal diarrhea on my part, with a few intelligent comments here and there, I found myself thanking my perspective employers and went on my merry way.

Now, to be fair, my interviewers did find me and my background intriguing. I know this because they mentioned it. So, apparently almost 3 years tucked away in a house with small children, knee deep in diapers, graham crackers, and sippy cups hasn't completely robbed me of my ability to converse intelligently. And even though I felt as though I was in dire need of "catching up" with the work force, these three individuals seemed to think otherwise. That was reassuring.

As for getting or taking the job, I don't know either yet. The hours are rather unpredictable and given my husband's already shifting schedule as a rookie cop, the logistics of childcare might be just too much to handle for the salary. We'll see. Besides that, I'm not even totally sure I'm ready to go back. I know that I need to do something more for myself...ok....SOMETHING for myself since "more" would imply that I'm already doing something, which I'm not. But perhaps it's time to do a different kind of "catching up."

Which brings me to "catch-up" number 2. Going back to school. At 33, I've come to the realization that I've gone about things a little bit ass backwards. Most people got to college, go to graduate school, meet someone, get married, live together, buy a house, save some money, and eventually start a family. I'm not most people. I went to college, traveled, changed careers twice by 25, met someone, moved across the country, changed careers again, got engaged, got dis-engaged, moved out, met someone else, got engaged, got married, got pregnant one month later, got pregnant again 10 months after the first was born, moved south, and bought a house. Notice the lack of "graduate school" in there. I fast tracked my 20's and forgot to pursue the appropriate advanced degree to further my career. Ok...I didn't forget. I was wrapped up in all the career changing, not knowing what the hell I was doing kind of stuff. And then I had a kid. And then another. And then we bought a house...on a cop's salary. And now going to graduate school is logistically a pain in the butt. I know it's totally manageable, but with two kids and one income, paying for childcare and the mortgage while mommy goes back to school is going to be tricky to say the least...which of course will lead to some "catching up" in the finances department when I finish. C'est la vie, eh?

So, that's it. Apparently I'm all "caught up" in the employability department. Problem is, I'm not sure the employment is in a field that I wish to pursue any further. And I've got a lot of "catching up" to do in the education department if I want to further my career goals. In the meantime, I've been running a house and raising children, hunting down preschools, paying bills, etc.etc.etc. This life is a constant game of "catch-up" and usually involves a lot of ketchup. But then, any mom, SAH or not knows all about that!

1 comment:

Red Dakini said...

u r "doing everything". I wouldn't call that insane balancing act :totally manageable