Having lived in two of America's largest cities, I'm used to reading a big city paper. So, I'm always interested to see what the local small-town paper finds newsworthy. This week, it was a full-page spread on, "Five things you didn't know about lightning but should." Number three was intriguing: "South Carolina is a hot zone. The state ranks 13th in the nation for human lightning strikes." Great. It ranks 48th for quality of education, but 13th for lightning strikes. So basically, as long as we live here, my kids are more likely to be struck by lightning than they are to graduate high school.
South Cackalackie: the land of "smiling faces, beautiful places", human lightning rods, and illiterate drop-outs.
Saturday, August 4, 2007
Friday, August 3, 2007
Alert NASA
There's one thing worth noting about the South from May to September, it's hot. The other is that if it's not hot, it's raining. But most days, it's hot and raining, neither of which lend themselves to two small children playing outside. So, lately, the kids and I have been making trips to the local mall (much to my chagrin - I HATE malls) to visit the indoor, air-conditioned play area. It's an excellent opportunity for the kids to get exercise, burn off some energy, play with lots of other kids, and I can sit and enjoy my one vice, fountain sodas. All in all, despite the fact that it's located in the heart of one of my least favorite places, the play area has proven itself to be an invaluable resource.
Anyway, this morning we awoke to yet another hot and rainy day (there's a surprise). And Emma having already surmised that rather than play in the backyard today we'd be making our usual trip to the mall, woke me up with her shoes in hand. "Wake up mommy, wake up. It's raining, and we have to go to the mall. You have to get dressed."
Ok. My first groggy thought of the day was, "Great. Not only did I get blessed with a daughter who's a morning person (which I am definitely not) that wakes me up at the crack of dawn, but I also got one who looks forward to going to the one place that I loathe. Excellent." Man, when this kid hits her teen years, I hope we can still relate.
Anyway, upon her urging, I got up, got dressed, fed the kiddies, and yes, we headed out, in the pouring rain, to the mall. They played for awhile, I drank coffee by myself and watched the other mothers, most of whom relish in the opportunity to sit in their little cliques chatting up the latest stroller advances and diapering trends. And then it was time to go. And of course, when we left, it was STILL raining. Aaaaah....South Cackalackie summers....if they're not hotter than stereo-equipment at the local Mega Pawn, they're wet. And as I said, today was both!
So, we made a mad dash for the car, running through 3 inch deep puddles (when you live in a place called the, "Lowcountry," you grow accustomed to deep puddles and drainage issues). When we got to the car, I abruptly told Emma, "Hurry to your side of the car and strap yourself in!" So naturally, she slowly meandered her way around the car, sure to jump in every puddle along the way, and ran her once clean hands over the trunk in amazement of how her fingers left a water trail. Needless to say, this did not make me happy. By the time I finished strapping Nicky in I was soaked, and Emma was just opening her door and was soaked herself. I ran to her side of the car yelling, "Emma get in the car! You're soaked. And now because you took so long, I'm gonna' get more soaked because I have to get you in!" I should explain here that Emma is perfectly capable of getting in the car herself, and that my original plan to cut down on the "soakage", if you will, was to have her get herself in while I strapped in Nicky and then make a mad dash for the driver's seat. Of course things didn't go as planned. When do they ever with two small kids?
Anyway, while I was getting Emma strapped in and STILL getting rained on, I was angrily rattling off about how frustrated I was, and how I was upset at Emma for not listening to me in the first place, and how as a result, I was getting wetter and wetter by the minute. And in the course of my rambling, I said a classic "mom-ism". It wasn't my finest example of parenting, but anyone who has kids knows that in those moments when you are frustrated, soaking wet, and slightly angry, things come out of your mouth that not only have no contextual relevance, but are just plain stupid. It went something like this, "Emma, despite what you may think, the world does not revolve around you and your whims."
Emma's totally straight faced answer: "Yes it does."
I started laughing so hard I almost choked. Leave it to my almost 3 year old daughter to hand me a healthy dose of perspective and levity just when I need it most. She's a bold little thing, and I know she didn't realize why it was funny. But man, I had a good laugh on the way home about that one. And as I drove, I thought, "I should probably notify NASA that the world has taken on a new orbit, and at the center of it is a fiery little star I like to call Emma."
Anyway, this morning we awoke to yet another hot and rainy day (there's a surprise). And Emma having already surmised that rather than play in the backyard today we'd be making our usual trip to the mall, woke me up with her shoes in hand. "Wake up mommy, wake up. It's raining, and we have to go to the mall. You have to get dressed."
Ok. My first groggy thought of the day was, "Great. Not only did I get blessed with a daughter who's a morning person (which I am definitely not) that wakes me up at the crack of dawn, but I also got one who looks forward to going to the one place that I loathe. Excellent." Man, when this kid hits her teen years, I hope we can still relate.
Anyway, upon her urging, I got up, got dressed, fed the kiddies, and yes, we headed out, in the pouring rain, to the mall. They played for awhile, I drank coffee by myself and watched the other mothers, most of whom relish in the opportunity to sit in their little cliques chatting up the latest stroller advances and diapering trends. And then it was time to go. And of course, when we left, it was STILL raining. Aaaaah....South Cackalackie summers....if they're not hotter than stereo-equipment at the local Mega Pawn, they're wet. And as I said, today was both!
So, we made a mad dash for the car, running through 3 inch deep puddles (when you live in a place called the, "Lowcountry," you grow accustomed to deep puddles and drainage issues). When we got to the car, I abruptly told Emma, "Hurry to your side of the car and strap yourself in!" So naturally, she slowly meandered her way around the car, sure to jump in every puddle along the way, and ran her once clean hands over the trunk in amazement of how her fingers left a water trail. Needless to say, this did not make me happy. By the time I finished strapping Nicky in I was soaked, and Emma was just opening her door and was soaked herself. I ran to her side of the car yelling, "Emma get in the car! You're soaked. And now because you took so long, I'm gonna' get more soaked because I have to get you in!" I should explain here that Emma is perfectly capable of getting in the car herself, and that my original plan to cut down on the "soakage", if you will, was to have her get herself in while I strapped in Nicky and then make a mad dash for the driver's seat. Of course things didn't go as planned. When do they ever with two small kids?
Anyway, while I was getting Emma strapped in and STILL getting rained on, I was angrily rattling off about how frustrated I was, and how I was upset at Emma for not listening to me in the first place, and how as a result, I was getting wetter and wetter by the minute. And in the course of my rambling, I said a classic "mom-ism". It wasn't my finest example of parenting, but anyone who has kids knows that in those moments when you are frustrated, soaking wet, and slightly angry, things come out of your mouth that not only have no contextual relevance, but are just plain stupid. It went something like this, "Emma, despite what you may think, the world does not revolve around you and your whims."
Emma's totally straight faced answer: "Yes it does."
I started laughing so hard I almost choked. Leave it to my almost 3 year old daughter to hand me a healthy dose of perspective and levity just when I need it most. She's a bold little thing, and I know she didn't realize why it was funny. But man, I had a good laugh on the way home about that one. And as I drove, I thought, "I should probably notify NASA that the world has taken on a new orbit, and at the center of it is a fiery little star I like to call Emma."
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
How Can I Argue with That?!?
Lately, the two kiddos have been trying their hand at that age old game of, "annoy the hell out of my brother/sister and thereby my mother." It goes something like this. Emma takes out a toy, Nicky automatically drops whatever he is engrossed in to go sit practically on top of Emma and touch the toy repeatedly, apparently with no intention of playing with it. Emma responds by screaming and pushing Nicky away and announcing in the MOST annoying whiny voice, "Mommy, he's touching my toy!!! Don't take it Nicky, don't touch it!" Nicky finds all of this amusing.
Anyway, this morning the tables were turned as Emma decided to exact some revenge. You see Nicky has recently taken a liking (and liking is too soft a word here) to the play cell phone (and by the way, I still can't believe that there are play cell phones). So, in keeping with the, "annoy the hell out of my brother and thereby my mother," game, Emma went straight up to Nicky and made fake attempts at taking the phone out of his hands. Nicky squealed and promptly pushed her away. Her response, as is usual, was to tattle on him in her most annoying voice, "Maaaawwwmmmmmeeeeeee! Neeecky pushed me!" Oh how I cannot stand that tattling whiny voice she uses. I much prefer her usual, sing songy tone. Anyway, I responded to the situation by reminding Nicky that we don't push people and explaining to Emma that he pushed her because she was bothering him, and that she really needs to stop being a tattle tale and worry about her own behavior. She obviously didn't like what I had to say because within minutes, she went over and pushed Nicky right in front of me, making sure I got an eyeful. I gave her the usual warning, "Emma we do not push people. If I see you do that again, you'll sit in time out. We keep our hands to ourselves. Do not touch Nicky."
Her response, "But I love him."
Now how can I argue with that?
And doesn't that just prove that all those boys and girls that bothered you on the playground when you were little did so because they really DID love you!?!
Anyway, this morning the tables were turned as Emma decided to exact some revenge. You see Nicky has recently taken a liking (and liking is too soft a word here) to the play cell phone (and by the way, I still can't believe that there are play cell phones). So, in keeping with the, "annoy the hell out of my brother and thereby my mother," game, Emma went straight up to Nicky and made fake attempts at taking the phone out of his hands. Nicky squealed and promptly pushed her away. Her response, as is usual, was to tattle on him in her most annoying voice, "Maaaawwwmmmmmeeeeeee! Neeecky pushed me!" Oh how I cannot stand that tattling whiny voice she uses. I much prefer her usual, sing songy tone. Anyway, I responded to the situation by reminding Nicky that we don't push people and explaining to Emma that he pushed her because she was bothering him, and that she really needs to stop being a tattle tale and worry about her own behavior. She obviously didn't like what I had to say because within minutes, she went over and pushed Nicky right in front of me, making sure I got an eyeful. I gave her the usual warning, "Emma we do not push people. If I see you do that again, you'll sit in time out. We keep our hands to ourselves. Do not touch Nicky."
Her response, "But I love him."
Now how can I argue with that?
And doesn't that just prove that all those boys and girls that bothered you on the playground when you were little did so because they really DID love you!?!
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Photo Updates
It's been a while, and there are a few things on my mind, but before I get to all that, here are some recent glimpses into life in Cackalackie.
Emma and "Ama" modeling their shades. The two of them are double trouble! And here's Nicky and I on Father's Day. People seem to be split down the middle as to whether he takes after me or Doug. What do you think?
Emma coloring with Grandpa Tony on Father's Day.
Nicky's first "buzz cut" (done by yours truly). And let me say that it is quite difficult to buzz a baby's head while he is screaming and trying desperately to turn so he can see the clippers from every angle, while simultaneously pulling on the chord. Given the circumstances, I thought I did a pretty good job. Ok, it's a little on the short side, but it got cut didn't it!?! And Doug and I couldn't resist the pictures of the hairy back. Let's hope this is the last of it.
Here is Emma with her first nightgown. This was purchased after she had spent the night with her favorite cousin Genna who is completely enthralled with Disney princess and owns several of these. And since Emma idolizes her, naturally she insisted that she had to have some of her own. I gave in and took her to Kohl's where she picked out "Ariel." And by the way, I had NOTHING to do with the pose in that second one. She must've gotten that idea from Genna too. A week later, we were back for the Cinderella nightgown after I realized that she would never again wear her "boring" shorts pajamas, and I was tired of having to do a load of laundry every time "Ariel" got dirty. So now, much to my chagrin, she has two princess nightgowns, but at least I can put off laundry for a few more days. And incidentally, what happened to the little girl who wanted "Cars" and "Nemo" underpants?!? Oh where has my little tomboy gone?
And here's the culprit. Genna is a beautiful, very bright 5 year old (slightly more than 2.5 years older than Emma), and she and Emma are like peas in a pod when they're together. It's so great, and something my brother and I never had (never had any cousins). So it's so nice to see our kids getting along so well. It's one of the few perks of Cackalackie life.
Aaah. There's my tomboy and her hoodlum brother. Doesn't it look like he's saying, "Yo. What up dawg?"
And here's Emma in a dress that "Nanny" sent her that I just love. She looks so sweet. And Nanny always has great taste! Thanks Nan.
And this is just the two kiddos playin' around. They are so affectionate with one another, and I just love that. It makes my heart melt whenever I see them hug, kiss, or cuddle one another. My hope is that they will always remain close so that when they're older, they can rely on one another in ways that my brother and I now do. Seeing my own children grow reminds me so much of my childhood with my brother AJ. He and I have come so far. And in the recent months, we've really been able to lean on each other when we needed to vent, needed a break from the kids, or just needed a laugh. He's a cool guy, and I'm lucky to have him in my life. I hope my kids will feel that way about each other at my age. And at the very least, they'll each have someone to whom they can complain about me! HA!
Emma and "Ama" modeling their shades. The two of them are double trouble! And here's Nicky and I on Father's Day. People seem to be split down the middle as to whether he takes after me or Doug. What do you think?
Emma coloring with Grandpa Tony on Father's Day.
Nicky's first "buzz cut" (done by yours truly). And let me say that it is quite difficult to buzz a baby's head while he is screaming and trying desperately to turn so he can see the clippers from every angle, while simultaneously pulling on the chord. Given the circumstances, I thought I did a pretty good job. Ok, it's a little on the short side, but it got cut didn't it!?! And Doug and I couldn't resist the pictures of the hairy back. Let's hope this is the last of it.
Here is Emma with her first nightgown. This was purchased after she had spent the night with her favorite cousin Genna who is completely enthralled with Disney princess and owns several of these. And since Emma idolizes her, naturally she insisted that she had to have some of her own. I gave in and took her to Kohl's where she picked out "Ariel." And by the way, I had NOTHING to do with the pose in that second one. She must've gotten that idea from Genna too. A week later, we were back for the Cinderella nightgown after I realized that she would never again wear her "boring" shorts pajamas, and I was tired of having to do a load of laundry every time "Ariel" got dirty. So now, much to my chagrin, she has two princess nightgowns, but at least I can put off laundry for a few more days. And incidentally, what happened to the little girl who wanted "Cars" and "Nemo" underpants?!? Oh where has my little tomboy gone?
And here's the culprit. Genna is a beautiful, very bright 5 year old (slightly more than 2.5 years older than Emma), and she and Emma are like peas in a pod when they're together. It's so great, and something my brother and I never had (never had any cousins). So it's so nice to see our kids getting along so well. It's one of the few perks of Cackalackie life.
Aaah. There's my tomboy and her hoodlum brother. Doesn't it look like he's saying, "Yo. What up dawg?"
And here's Emma in a dress that "Nanny" sent her that I just love. She looks so sweet. And Nanny always has great taste! Thanks Nan.
And this is just the two kiddos playin' around. They are so affectionate with one another, and I just love that. It makes my heart melt whenever I see them hug, kiss, or cuddle one another. My hope is that they will always remain close so that when they're older, they can rely on one another in ways that my brother and I now do. Seeing my own children grow reminds me so much of my childhood with my brother AJ. He and I have come so far. And in the recent months, we've really been able to lean on each other when we needed to vent, needed a break from the kids, or just needed a laugh. He's a cool guy, and I'm lucky to have him in my life. I hope my kids will feel that way about each other at my age. And at the very least, they'll each have someone to whom they can complain about me! HA!
Friday, July 6, 2007
Take Me to Your Leader
While driving on one of South Carolina's many two lane, tree-lined roads this past week, I noticed that the state's natural history museum is proudly advertising their latest exhibition: Aliens, Worlds of Possibilities. And I couldn't help but think, as I passed endless abandoned trailers, rusted-out cars in overgrown grass, and worn-out movie marquees in front of cinder block warehouses advertising redemption for my soul, that the aliens aren't in the museum, I'm pretty sure they're right behind the cinder block warehouse doors, finding Jesus, who was hiding behind the rat-infested sofa on the front porch of their trailer all along.
And then I thought, this is their version of a science exhibit. And my children are going to be educated here.
Ahhh...South Cackalackie. Gotta' love it.
And then I thought, this is their version of a science exhibit. And my children are going to be educated here.
Ahhh...South Cackalackie. Gotta' love it.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Less is More
I was driving home from a lovely breakfast with my brother, sister-in-law, and their kids this morning, listening to NPR broadcast at length about our culture's propensity to incur personal debt, and I found myself getting more and more disgusted. I don't get it. These call-in listeners were all complaining about how they'd gotten themselves into thousands upon thousands of dollars of debt and couldn't understand why.
Ok people. Here's how money works. If you have it, you can spend it. If you don't, you can't. Simple. It's basic math. And if you're in debt. Stop spending, and start putting that money towards your debt. Why is this concept so damned hard for people in this country to understand? Are we so wrapped up in our consumerist culture that basic concepts elude us? And are we so consumed with living a lifestyle we can't afford just to keep up appearances that we're willing to destroy ourselves financially?
People were calling in, some on the verge of tears, complaining about how they can't seem to get themselves out of debt. In the meantime, they're calling from their state of the art cell phones, while driving their Cadillac Escalades on their way to their receptionist jobs. Now granted, I've been out of the workforce for almost three years now, but last I checked, a receptionist, even in the most upscale of offices, pays only slightly more than a stay-at-home-mom.
And the same holds true for dieting. I'm so tired of hearing people complain about not being able to lose weight. I myself was on weight watchers 4 years ago after gaining 25 pounds. The concepts were basic; eat well, eat just enough to feed your body, and exercise. It works. There's no magic bullet or wonder drug or undiscovered truth about it. It is what it is.
And yet, our culture still seeks out miracle cures for our indulgences. Are we that delusional or that arrogant to think that we're above the basic laws of science and nature? And at what point are we just going to have some culpability for our actions and say, "Wow, I'm in a lot of debt and I'm a huge, fat cow. Maybe I shouldn't drive my gas-guzzling monstrosity of a car to the most expensive restaurant in town tonight and stuff myself with beef wellington and chocolate cake." As I always say, life is about choices and consequences. If you don't like the set of consequences that comes with one choice, choose another....and save the chocolate cake for special occasions while you're at it.
Ok people. Here's how money works. If you have it, you can spend it. If you don't, you can't. Simple. It's basic math. And if you're in debt. Stop spending, and start putting that money towards your debt. Why is this concept so damned hard for people in this country to understand? Are we so wrapped up in our consumerist culture that basic concepts elude us? And are we so consumed with living a lifestyle we can't afford just to keep up appearances that we're willing to destroy ourselves financially?
People were calling in, some on the verge of tears, complaining about how they can't seem to get themselves out of debt. In the meantime, they're calling from their state of the art cell phones, while driving their Cadillac Escalades on their way to their receptionist jobs. Now granted, I've been out of the workforce for almost three years now, but last I checked, a receptionist, even in the most upscale of offices, pays only slightly more than a stay-at-home-mom.
And the same holds true for dieting. I'm so tired of hearing people complain about not being able to lose weight. I myself was on weight watchers 4 years ago after gaining 25 pounds. The concepts were basic; eat well, eat just enough to feed your body, and exercise. It works. There's no magic bullet or wonder drug or undiscovered truth about it. It is what it is.
And yet, our culture still seeks out miracle cures for our indulgences. Are we that delusional or that arrogant to think that we're above the basic laws of science and nature? And at what point are we just going to have some culpability for our actions and say, "Wow, I'm in a lot of debt and I'm a huge, fat cow. Maybe I shouldn't drive my gas-guzzling monstrosity of a car to the most expensive restaurant in town tonight and stuff myself with beef wellington and chocolate cake." As I always say, life is about choices and consequences. If you don't like the set of consequences that comes with one choice, choose another....and save the chocolate cake for special occasions while you're at it.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Wondering if It's All Worth It
A little more than two and a half years ago, I gave birth to our first child Emma. Nine days prior to that, I went on maternity leave from my job at the Bronx Zoo and never went back. As it turned out, quality child care in New York was so expensive that approximately 80% of my paycheck would be spent just to have a stranger take care of my child. Since I knew I could make the remaining 20% working part-time on Doug's off hours, he and I decided it would be better for me to stay home with Emma rather than pay a stranger to raise her. And since I was already home with her when we had Nicky 15 months ago, well, it just made sense to stay there. But now I'm wondering.....was it all worth it?
I've made many sacrifices as a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) that I never could have foreseen prior to having children. And no, I'm not talking about sacrificing being able to buy new clothes on a whim or go out to fancy dinners or buy Starbuck's lattes every morning. C'mon. I was living on a teacher's salary in New York City. I couldn't do those things even before I had kids. No, I'm talking about more insidious sacrifices; the kind you don't even know you're making until you've already given in to them.
This was all prompted by my attending an information session at the local medical university a few weeks back. You see, I've been toying with the idea of changing careers and attending medical school for years. Of course, now that I have children, that's easier said than done. And of course, I've reconsidered medicine as a career since I know the time commitment will be daunting, and I actually want to see my children sometime in the next 5 years. So, naturally, I was in search of alternatives. I found the P.A. profession. A Physician Assistant, for those of you that don't know, is a trained clinician that falls above a nurse practitioner and just below a doctor. For all intents and purposes, PA's have all the privileges of a doctor including prescribing power, but without the crazy time commitment. It seemed like a nice compromise that allowed me to pursue my goals and still enjoy my family. Only one problem.....I've been out of the workforce for almost 3 years, and out of school for 11.
Apparently, in order to qualify for said Physician Assistant program at the Medical University of South Carolina, one must have recent work experience (within the last 3 years as luck would have it). Furthermore, one's prerequisite course work must be completed within the last ten. Excellent. I'm just outside that window on both. So, I don't have the resume or the education to get into the program at this time. Here is what I do have....
....I have two great, well-behaved, well-rounded, healthy kids. They are smart, advanced for their ages, social, compassionate, funny, and all around good kids.
....I also have a three year hole in my resume, and a useless diploma from a top 25 school.
....I have a dwindling savings account.
....I have a sorely neglected IRA that has not seen a penny's worth of contribution in 3 years.
....I have 2 and a half years of education to retake just to be considered for admission into a program that is already a compromise from my original goal.
....I have to find time to volunteer in some medical facility so that I'll have recent exposure to the field, which of course means I have to find a babysitter....a cheap babysitter that's willing to work around an unpredictable volunteer's schedule.
....I have a mortgage. And bills to pay. And no idea how I'll pay for two and a half years of prerequisite course work that does not qualify me for financial aid because I'm not degree bound.
....I have guilt about not being able to afford enrichment classes and extra-curricular activities for our kids because we have sacrificed my income (granted, they are only 15 months and almost 3, but I know Emma would like to take dance class). Although, Emma will be attending a preschool in the fall that has a dance component!
....and I have disappointment....that I don't have the income to make all of this easier for my family, and that I didn't do all of this career changing earlier so my kids wouldn't have to feel the brunt of it.
BUT, I also have two beautiful kids and countless moments with them that I would not have had otherwise if I had continued to work. I know that I am lucky to have this time with them. But it has come at a price....financially, psychologically, and socially. The question is....was it worth it?
Here's some pictures of my days with them. You be the judge.
I've made many sacrifices as a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) that I never could have foreseen prior to having children. And no, I'm not talking about sacrificing being able to buy new clothes on a whim or go out to fancy dinners or buy Starbuck's lattes every morning. C'mon. I was living on a teacher's salary in New York City. I couldn't do those things even before I had kids. No, I'm talking about more insidious sacrifices; the kind you don't even know you're making until you've already given in to them.
This was all prompted by my attending an information session at the local medical university a few weeks back. You see, I've been toying with the idea of changing careers and attending medical school for years. Of course, now that I have children, that's easier said than done. And of course, I've reconsidered medicine as a career since I know the time commitment will be daunting, and I actually want to see my children sometime in the next 5 years. So, naturally, I was in search of alternatives. I found the P.A. profession. A Physician Assistant, for those of you that don't know, is a trained clinician that falls above a nurse practitioner and just below a doctor. For all intents and purposes, PA's have all the privileges of a doctor including prescribing power, but without the crazy time commitment. It seemed like a nice compromise that allowed me to pursue my goals and still enjoy my family. Only one problem.....I've been out of the workforce for almost 3 years, and out of school for 11.
Apparently, in order to qualify for said Physician Assistant program at the Medical University of South Carolina, one must have recent work experience (within the last 3 years as luck would have it). Furthermore, one's prerequisite course work must be completed within the last ten. Excellent. I'm just outside that window on both. So, I don't have the resume or the education to get into the program at this time. Here is what I do have....
....I have two great, well-behaved, well-rounded, healthy kids. They are smart, advanced for their ages, social, compassionate, funny, and all around good kids.
....I also have a three year hole in my resume, and a useless diploma from a top 25 school.
....I have a dwindling savings account.
....I have a sorely neglected IRA that has not seen a penny's worth of contribution in 3 years.
....I have 2 and a half years of education to retake just to be considered for admission into a program that is already a compromise from my original goal.
....I have to find time to volunteer in some medical facility so that I'll have recent exposure to the field, which of course means I have to find a babysitter....a cheap babysitter that's willing to work around an unpredictable volunteer's schedule.
....I have a mortgage. And bills to pay. And no idea how I'll pay for two and a half years of prerequisite course work that does not qualify me for financial aid because I'm not degree bound.
....I have guilt about not being able to afford enrichment classes and extra-curricular activities for our kids because we have sacrificed my income (granted, they are only 15 months and almost 3, but I know Emma would like to take dance class). Although, Emma will be attending a preschool in the fall that has a dance component!
....and I have disappointment....that I don't have the income to make all of this easier for my family, and that I didn't do all of this career changing earlier so my kids wouldn't have to feel the brunt of it.
BUT, I also have two beautiful kids and countless moments with them that I would not have had otherwise if I had continued to work. I know that I am lucky to have this time with them. But it has come at a price....financially, psychologically, and socially. The question is....was it worth it?
Here's some pictures of my days with them. You be the judge.
...yeah...it was worth it.
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